| Current mood: |  annoyed |
| Entry tags: | rants |
Ironically an icon of George Bluth would be more on topic
You know, I'm so glad that we finally live in a world where men can feel empowered to touch women's breasts as though the ability to do so is their god-given right.
Oh WAIT.
You know, I get that the Open Source Boob Project (or "NAMBLA") was about asking and not randomly groping, and blah bloo blee, but wow is that not the point.
To paraphrase Gavin DeBecker, if you ask a man when was the last time he worried about his safety the usual answer, assuming the guy doesn't live in a war zone, is going to require some thought and maybe he'll come up with something that happened in the past year or so. If you ask a woman the same question the usual answer, regardless of where she lives, is going to be a variation on "Well, what time is it now?"
There's a reason why it's not a woman waxing poetic about imagining a world of no heaven, hell, and full of freedom for men to assume they can attempt (and yes, asking is an attempt) to touch her without negative repercussions. And that reason is "We have vaginas and live here already, dicksmack." Our bodies are already assumed to be not our own. We get in a crowd of some kind, we're at a packed club, we're going to the ladies room at the local baseball stadium - we don't know if some jackass is going to think it's okay to play Handsy McGetTheFuckOffMyTits. And if it's not flat-out sexual harassment it's still crossed boundaries. It's being told we should smile even if we're in shitty moods, or finding out that one of the joys of being pregnant is that your stomach now belongs to anybody who cares to walk up to you and give your belly a rub. Tell me even one way that men have to deal with random strangers walking up to them and touching them without permission. (Seriously, I'd love to know.)
So if anyone out there has noticed that it has maybe possibly gotten a little bit more difficult for you to get your hands on a woman's breasts I recommend you stop bitching about it and spend a moment thanking whatever diety you might believe in that there are now increased odds that someone will not kick you square in the nuts.
Now naturally there are so many levels of WTF about this that we could be talking about it forever, but one item to be filed in the "even when you're wrong you're wrong" category is the idea that breasts were the issue. As one commentor put it:
Why the hell shouldn't I be able to go up to someone and say "You know, your breasts/ass/hair/face is really beautiful, can I touch it?", and have them have the right to say yes or no, without threat, shame or implied demand. Just a simple question, like "Can I have a sip of your soda?".
Uh dude? Name me the last time you went up to a random stranger and asked for a sip of their soda? Because I'd love to know what restaurants you've been hitting up. Now while we're on the topic, when was the last time you walked up to strangers and asked if you could touch their elbow? Their shoulder? Their knee? We've got societal norms on what contact is and isn't appropriate upon first meeting someone and if you have half a brain (which may be a large assumption on my part) you know there's a reason for that. Start with a fucking handshake why don't you? (Or maybe even asking their name. I know ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
theferrett left names out of his post on purpose but why do I doubt that the majority of folks who got asked about their boobs were also asked about their names and favorite hobbies?)
And I love the whole concept of how it's a beautiful thing where folks can ask to touch breasts and breasts can, in fact, be touched. Like it's the second part that really makes it empowering for all us women who somehow doubted that if we offered our tits up to a heterosexual male he'd turn it down. Especially at cons which are certainly never known to have large male vs. female ratios. I'm surprised that Opsen Source Blowjob Project never got off the ground, what with the similar doubt we women have about whether we'd hear "Yes" if we offered them.
As for the girls who were fine with it, and wore green pins, and feel it's perfectly fine to let strangers ask if they can touch their breasts: GO AHEAD. We're not stopping you. As I said, you're not going to lack for folks to take you up on the offer. You do, in fact, have the freedom to do that. Mazel tov. We're just saying that we're not going to hoist the flag and declare the problems of the world solved when someone tries to start a movement to make boob-groping easier. There's a reason why it's hard as a default. It's called "Some of us would like to be able to sleep at night."
Christ people make me tired.
